Wednesday, August 18, 2010

By the Time You Read This... You'll Wish You Hadn't

Every person who picked up Lola Jaye's By the Time You Read This had the same reaction - Why in the world did you get this out, Rochel? Well that was kind of my reaction the first second I read the back - It's about a girl who loses her father at a very young age (5) and he writes her a "Manual" of advice for age 12-30.   I mean, sounds totally bleak, right? But actually, that's not really that bleak - it's not like the book is about her missing her father, it's about her life growing up, told with a cute gimmick.  So it could be totally decent! And it's an Avon book, which definitely classifies it as junk of the first order, but also usually qualifies it as a decent romance.  So it was not with complete trepidation that I opened this book...

But I was wrong.  Oh well.  Well actually, I wasn't wrong completely.   The book wasn't depressing or sad or a/t, it was just stupid.  First of all, badly written, but that's pretty much par for course for this type of thing.  The far greater issue - well actually there were two far greater issues.  I'll start with the more obvious one.  "The Manual"'s advice is totally trite... actually I assume it's totally trite as I basically skimmed every entry.  I don't know if it's meant to be cute or wise or whatever but it's just blah blah and blah - and it's seriously at least a fourth - maybe even a third - of the book! Totally unreadable pages of boring recollections, prosy and inappropriately inappropriate (that sounds redundant, but I mean s/t by that).  Whatever, completely annoying, glad I didn't waste my life reading it. 

So the second, and I think even greater, issue - I didn't like *anyone* in the book, *including* the main character.  Her life is horrible, her mother is horrible, her friends are horrible... I mean seriously, she has a horrible relationship with her mother, she kind of just goes through life being not very successful, often depressed and lonely... and ridiculously sentimental about her father.  As if he'd be any better than anyone else in her life.  And I'm totally unsympathetic, b/c she's basically a huge complainer.  As she gets older, she's surprisingly successful career-wise, which was a nice change from the general tone, but still nothing really good happens and e/1 around her is just ugh.  And then right at the end, she has a whole heart to heart with her mother and she's all like but of course I love you and I'm like really? until 30 you showed no sign of this? so basically badly written, implausible and totally unfun.

And as for the romance? Okay, so there was a romance, which was the only reason I kept on reading this (well I suppose I would have kept on reading it anyway because it takes *a lot* for me to stop reading a book in the middle).  Side note - the first time the guy's name is mentioned, she's 12 years old, and he's mentioned as her friend's brother- and I was like - that's the guy! So am I a genius or what? (we all know the answer to that ;)) But anyway, romance was certainly not great - basically on par with the rest of the book which was just not fun. So there's nothing to like about this book... guess you all were right after all :)

Verdict: 1.5/5
Food: So I need s/t here that I don't like at all, but that vaguely resembles s/t I do like at least a little- and I have the perfect thing! Last night I bought Hunt's caramel sf pudding - Hunt's as opposed to my usual brand Jello, (Hunt's isn't refrigerated, Jello is) because I hadn't tasted this flavor yet... now Jello pudding is like my guilty pleasure- it makes me sick if I eat too much and it also makes me fat, but I tend to eat it anyway, especially in cl :) - but Hunt's pudding is pretty disgusting - so disgusting that I tasted it last night and threw it out... so I guess it's even worse than the book, which at least I finished (well the book had no calories :))

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